Update on Sophie, our foster girl....

Right after my last post, Sophie met a family who wanted to adopt her. They are a young couple with a three year old daughter who live in Newcastle. They had to wait for her because of a pending hospitalization (the Mom), and Sophie hadn't lost enough weight for her de-sexing. The good news is she has lost the weight and then some. I'm sure she must be down to a svelte 19 kilos.

Unfortunately, though, Sophie bit a male human friend in the dog park (on the finger) after he tapped her on the nose. This caused our rescue group to be concerned for her eventual re-homing (fear that she might bite a member of the new family), they canceled her de-sexing appointment and requested the services of a dog behavioral specialist.

She had her behavior assessed this morning, and she had a risk score of 1/10.... hence, very low risk. There is still a concern for her to be re-homed with children, so I don't think she will be moving home with the nice family who have been waiting for her.

I never thought I would have a foster dog for this length of time - seven months so far - but it has still been worth it. Sophie is quite a character and is very good company. I hope we find the perfect family for her soon, though, just so she can get settled in and bond.

On Fostering a Dog

Last Easter I decided I would like to foster a dog. Before the holidays, lots of pet owners dump their dogs because they don't want the expense of putting them in a kennel for a week or two. These dogs fill the pounds and lots of them end up on death row. Fortunately, there are rescue groups who take the dogs that would otherwise be euthanized. This is how we got Sophie and this is how Sophie looked when we first got her, fat, dull coated...:

She was so fat that she could barely waddle around. I think her past owner just left her in the backyard and fed her fattening food without ever exercising her. She weighed 28.8 Kilos when we got her; and she's now at a semi-svelte 23.8 Kilos. She lost 5 Kilos, but unfortunately needs to lose 3.8 Kilos more before she can be desexed safely. I didn't expect to have a foster dog for this long.

Don't get me wrong, I love Sophie. She's a great dog in many ways, she just needs to be the only dog in a household because she's BOSSY. Photo below of slimmer and bossy Sophie:



Good old Sammy (the "questionnoodle") is pretty mellow, and when Sophie pushes him too far, he'll let her know that he's not at all pleased. Poor Karma (Australian Shepherd), though, gets submissive to her and slinks away.

I mentioned that Sophie still needs her desexing surgery. Unfortunately, there is no such thing as doggie menopause. It's the ethical thing to do when you are re-homing a rescue animal, but it's also safer for her in terms of less chance of mammary tumors, etc.

Do I recommend fostering a dog? Without question. Rescue organizations usually have full houses at their facilities, so they need foster carers to take up the slack. It's also better for a dog to be in a home than in kennels with tens of other dogs. I'll cry when Sophie is adopted and leaves us, but I knew it was a temporary arrangement when we got her. Besides, there are lots of other doggies waiting for love, good care and a safe haven, and we have plenty of that.

Long Time No See

It has been a while since either Tim or I have posted, and needless to say, a few things have happened in the last two years. For one thing, we moved from our house in Thornleigh, a whole kilometer to Westleigh. Our old house was great in many ways, but two big for us and too much work. Our new place is a duplex located right next to the Westleigh Dog Park. How good is that? We have three small bedrooms, a living room, a kitchen (large), a garage, and a double courtyard out back. Westleigh has nice wide roads, so it's not like the streets in Thornleigh where you take your life in your hands just going out for a walk - crazy drivers/narrow roads. Up the street is a small shopping center, and the only thing lacking is a fish shop.... well, and a clothes shop...

Also next to us is Ruddock Park, which is a wonderful park with tennis courts, kids playground, an oval for sports, a graffiti wall, trees and grass.

When we first moved into our new home, we decided to renovate the kitchen. I would talk about that adventure, but I'm still trying to forget about it - what a nightmare. The finished item was successful, but the road was long and weary. I'd like to include some photos of the kitchen, but it's along several walls, so it's hard to do anything inclusive. We just bought a new camera, so maybe I'll try to get a few pics.

In the meantime, here is a photo of our "new" house:



I speak like we just moved here, but in fact, it has been one year.

CIGNA - More proof of their dishonesty (click here)

Holiday on the South Coast of NSW

Hi. It’s Monday, about noon, and we’re staying at the Shellharbour Beachside Tourist Resort. They really mean "beachside", because we are about 50 feet from the water. We unfortunately have some trees in the way of our water view, but the sound of the surf is very relaxing and there is still a nice breeze. The beach is a combination of sandy and rock pool. There’s also a huge “manmade” ocean pool - huge! I think I might swim in it, since I’m not big about swimming in the ocean.... yeah, I’m afraid of sharks, I give.

We arrived here last night after packing and deciding at about 2 PM that we would leave on the day, rather than wait for the next day, which would mean today which means we wouldn’t be here now, so I’m glad we decided to go when we did. Phew.

The people who run this caravan resort are really nice. They must be, because they allow dogs! Yeah! All the usual rules apply regarding leashes, etc., but Sammy and Karma well-mannered in parks. They usually just lie around the outside of the caravan, unless they can finagle their way inside, which they invariably do. Last night, it was raining, hence, wet and smelly dogs. We kept them in the car (wagon, with their beds and all the comforts of home), and they probably slept better than we did. Except for the times we woke them for “walkies” because we were afraid they might bother the neighbours.

This morning, the weather was mostly clear - at least partially sunny, occasionally cloudy and fairly pleasant. I went to the local mall to pick up a book on caravanning and camping in Australia - a “bargain” at $50 bucks - yikes! I still can’t get used to the cost of books in this country. Hopefully, the information in this book with save us so much money, it will have been a charmed purchase. We had to do something, since we left our only, albeit, outdated, other caravan books somewhere at home. We were fortunate to have found such a great place to stay just by following signs and our noses.

I will include photos as I take and process them (aka: photoshop!).

Great headline

Drug-smeared boobs knock out robbed men

Still a few more days to donate....



Whales and dolphins singing

The Neptune Project in Canada has some cool recordings of whales and dolphins. Spectrograms are also shown.

Tim

This is great, and amazing, and wonderful....

The Next First Family Of The United States

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Giant spider eating a bird (I TOLD you we have really big spiders here!)

Giant spider eating a bird caught on camera - Telegraph

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If you like Cigna, then nevermind...



What Depression Means to Me

1. Intense sadness. I’m not even sure what I’m sad about.
2. Loss of friends. Slowly, but surely, people grow away from me. This happens for a couple of reasons. First, I’m hard to be around when I’m depressed. Secondly, I don’t want to be around anyone when I’m depressed – because it’s hard to interact when you’re depressed and because I feel guilty that I am bumming someone else out. I am not fun to be around.
3. Loss of interest. I have spent a lot of time lately sitting in my living room chair thinking of things I should be doing or trying to imagine what I want to be doing. Nothing sounds viable.
4. Loss of energy. I know I should exercise more, but I find it difficult to go outside, no less exercise with some amount of vigor.
5. Loss of cleanliness. See “Loss of energy”. It’s hard to clean a house effectively when just getting out of bed is a huge achievement.
6. Loss of order… impending chaos. My home is out of control. I have no energy to put things away. My “organizational systems” go unused.
7. Body discontent. I gained weight on an antidepressant lately (Zyprexa). Weight gain, no energy, and no exercise equals “flabolanche!” Impending 57th birthday doesn’t help flagging self-image.
8. Tears. Actually, tears help a bit by relieving some of the “depression” tension. (See “not fun to be around”.)
9. Lack of interest in sex. (See “not fun to be around”.)
10. Excessive sleep. Any form of escape is a good thing.

I don’t know if I’ve ever been this depressed for this long. I didn’t even realize how depressed I have been for the past year, until I tried the Zyprexa and briefly got “undepressed.” That is part of the insidious nature of depression – it isn’t always “obvious.” It is characterized by a growing discontent with one’s life and causes gaping lapses in a person’s ability to look at themselves in any realistic and positive sense. My artwork, that I normally derive tremendous pleasure from, has become an “irresponsible hobby” to me. I have completed many of my projects in the past year, but now they stand the chance of taking over the entire downstairs of our home (see “impending chaos”). I want to sell them (or give them away), but I don’t have the energy or confidence to take advantage of opportunities (local markets, garage sale, etc.)

Get the picture? Depression sucks. I am holding on while my medication is being adjusted, but it’s white knuckle all the way. If you’re a friend reading this post, you can now understand why you probably haven’t heard from me. Fortunately, I know a lot about my illness (unquestionably more than certain Cigna contracted peer review doctors!), and understanding the causes of my discomfort helps me deal with the frustration of going through it.

By the way, I write about my mental illness not for pity, but so that mental illness can come out of the closet. People need to learn about it so they will feel comfortable with people who are different. One last thing…. If anyone tells me to “just be happy” or “just think positively”…. I’ll pop them one. If depression affects you or someone you care about, learn more about it. In Australia, try “Beyond Blue” or “The Black Dog Institute.”

Death in the Garden

This is a recent painting that I did, and I actually like it. The best art I create takes the shortest amount of time, but I have to be "in the zone" to get there. This painting started with a feeling I had of something huge crushing down and tearing me apart. It took about 20 minutes to complete. That's true of my best collages and poetry. I'm convinced that my "inside people" (aka "alters") work out what they want to paint or what they want to say, and use me as a vehicle towards expression. Sometimes, I can write a three page poem in 20 minutes, and won't have an idea of what it means until I read it over when it's completed. Surprisingly, it has many characteristics of well planned verse. Well, I say surprisingly, but it really isn't.




This is a recent collage. I hope you can see some of the detail, pictures, print, etc. Since I was diagnosed DID/MPD, collage has been one of the most effective methods for trying to understand what's going on "inside". As in the painting above, I do the work, and the story unfolds. (Click on the image for a closer look.)

Four more years

The Ocean, a Little White Fluffy Thing, and Tragedy

Yesterday, Tim and I went to Pearl Beach on the Central Coast. It's a beautiful beach which is also somewhat dog-friendly. Sammy and Karma love beaches, especially when Tim takes them on a good long walk. I think the salt air makes them even sillier than usual. We last visited Pearl Beach Christmas Day 2005, when Tim's son, Gavin, and nephew, Ben, were visiting.

The tragedy happened yesterday when a tiny white fluffy dog (Maltese, Shitsu, Fox Terrier cross), got chased into the surf by a Staffie puppy, and was instantly swallowed up by the huge surf. The surf was much worse than it was two and a half years ago. On that day, Ben and Gavin went swimming and we also easily got our kayaks into the water. Yesterday, however, you could see the rip tides and the surf was breaking so close to the shore - well, the little thing didn't have a chance (it probably weighed two kilos soaking wet).

The dog looked similar to this:

Although this just isn't something you expect to happen, I talked to a couple of "locals" who were walking past, and they mentioned that this wasn't an isolated event. Anyway, Tim and I kept scanning the water with the owners looking for the little dog, but we all finally had to give up and head for home.

Poor Soaked Wretch

This poor wet Australian Magpie, that we fondly call "Randal", was begging for food on our balcony today. There has been a pair of them hanging around recently, and I suspect they are trying to feed and care for a new family. I've been giving the Magpies and the Kookaburras doggie meatballs (not meatballs made out of dogs) which they can't seem to get enough of. They are all cheeky enough to take the food right out of my hand. The maggies are particularly amazing to watch because they can pluck a piece of food out of thin air while in full flight mode. The kookaburras are not so nimble. They wait for the food to drop to the ground and then grab it.

We still have our regular rainbow lorikeets that visit (Benito and his wife), and during these rainy days, they huddle together on the "roost" I made for them enjoying relative dryness. Lorikeets are very affectionate with each other.

A Hacker!

We suspected that someone was hacking into our network, but little did we know it was....

CIGNA - progress!

We've made some good progress on Judi's CIGNA stoush. We now have a lawyer in New York with excellent experience in this area. He thinks we have a strong case so he's proceeding to gather material for the next step.

We'll keep you updated.

Tim

Cigna and Doctor Reviewers

I wish I could say something - anything - nice about Cigna or their disability benefit denial and review process, but I cannot think of anything. I have been told that if you have nothing nice to say, it's better to not say anything at all... however...

I do not understand how a person can go through medical or graduate school to learn a "helping" profession - but seem to act without ethics or care toward people - at least in an insurance-related situation. The three doctors that Cigna contracted with (Shipko, DeFilippis or Unsell), to provide reviews of my case and hence their “opinions” of my "ability" to work showed no compassion for me at all. I know it is a business situation and not personal care, but they did not even do what should be a minimum of honest investigation into my case.

For example, all three doctors state that I am able to return to work; that I could be malingering; that I might not really have DID/MPD; and that I lied in my submittals of information to Cigna. But no one from Cigna or their contracted doctors ever tried to talk with either me, or my highly trained and qualified physician. It seems there are professional insurance case reviewers in the medical community, who get paid to give Cigna (or other insurance company) what it obviously prefers - a statement that the disabled appellant is fine - ok - healthy - robust. Their tactics include raising questions against said appellant, but never actually proving anything. If you read our appeal letter, below, you will see the different methods these doctors used to give Cigna their desired outcome.

The Cigna-contracted doctors, Shipko, DeFilippis and Unsell, have caused me a huge amount of stress, enabled Cigna to rule against my appeal, and hurt me by raising questions about my integrity. Do they imagine theirs is a victimless crime? It is not!

I am fortunate that I have the love and support of a husband who works and can provide for me; otherwise, I could easily be one of the many homeless mentally ill. But there are disabled people who have lost their homes because the insurance companies are unfairly terminating their disability benefits, and they have nothing or no one to fall back on.

What happened to ethics? Is the doctor's need or lust for the dollar so powerful he is willing to toss his morals out the window?

We (the people of the USA) have a corrupt health insurance system utilized by corrupt insurance companies who utilize corrupt doctor reviewers. We are hearing more and more stories about insurance company shenanigans - when are we going to see some positive change?

Each doctor reviewer should take a hard look inside... perhaps they might realize that I am more than just another case file - a mental “gimp” that they never bothered to talk to. I guess that makes it easier for them – the "case" has no face and no voice, so they never had to deal with a human – after all; I was just another case and just another check in the bank.

Unsell - a track record

The first doctor used in Judi's case, Dr. Randal Unsell, has a track record. The Court in "Combe vs CIGNA" noted that:

Dr. Unsell concluded that the “available information does not support a psychiatric functional impairment to preclude the claimant from work capacity.” Id. He disregarded the treating physician’s opinion, as well as his office notes and letter describing the deterioration of Combe’s condition, based on Dr. Roniger’s refusal to obtain neuropsychological testing to substantiate the referenced cognitive deficits and his diagnosis.