Judi's DID

Some of our friends will know that this blog has omitted to say much about one very big thing in our lives - Judi's struggle with Dissociative Identity Disorder. We've kept this private until now but both of us think it's time to be more open.

Judi and I are approaching the tenth anniversary of our first date - April 27, 1997. That night was wonderful and something that we both remember. I also remember well the next date - we drove out into the desert east of Socorro to a waterhole that I knew about. We walked around chatting happily but then it started to get dark and the stars came out. We decided to leave but as we got up to go, Judi told me that she'd had many difficult times in her life. The increasing darkness of the night matched her mood shift. It was a striking moment - too dark to see much of her face but I could hear something unexpected in the tone of her voice.

Shift forward 6 months, and we're married, sitting on the bed in the evening. It's been a wonderful 6 months and we're really happy. There have been some tough times - she occasionally goes into a strange state that I don't recognize - sometimes crying inconsolably. An ice pack on the neck will bring her back. So there we are, talking on the bed about something - but I can't remember what. All of a sudden I realize that Judi's voice has changed, and that she sounds like a young girl. I don't mean that metaphorically - I mean that she really sounds like a young girl. I realized almost immediately that I was talking to another person so I asked her name - she said "Patricia". We had a reasonably long conversation. The key to talking to alters, which is what Patricia is, is to respect them and treat them just like a real person. I did that and she talked. I can't remember much of what we talked about.

Shift forward a few more months, and I'm in a taxi looking out the back window at Judi. She's standing at the window of the in-take office of a hospital in Dallas, watching my taxi drive away. It's a terrible moment. I have to be back in Socorro but she needs to stay there for intense therapy. She's really broken down into fragments - bit and pieces of a person. There are many, many alters, most of whom I have met over the last few months. Meeting an alter is not always as easy as meeting Patricia since some carry huge amounts of rage and anger.

Finally here we are now in Australia. Judi is much, much better. She and I have been through some really tough times together and honestly still expect to have more in the future. I've had one episode of really bad depression since we met but I feel good now. We have a wonderful relationship as we always have had despite our problems.

Judi is still in therapy. She still cannot work and I don't know if she ever will be able to. I hope so since I know that work means a lot to her. It's important to her to feel that she's making a contribution. And she has a lot to contribute.

So that's the story from my perspective but it's mostly up to Judi to tell about it. I'll chime in with my own recollections and thoughts but it's over to her.....